as to relationships

I can't think of a word to describe the relationship I have with my mother. All these years, until last night, I would say we don't know each other that well. Being a single mom, she had to do everything all by herself. She worked during the weekdays, and did all the household chores on weekends. She hired someone to watch me when she wasn't around. Sometimes, she took me to work. I had a collection of miniature farm animals, and I remember playing with them underneath my mother's office table.


When I started attending school, she would help me with my lessons and assignments. She always made time for that even with her busy schedule, usually before or after dinnertime. I would show her my math assignment - I admit, I'm a little slow when it comes to numbers - and she would teach me all the mathematic crap until I understood how the alignment of decimal points mattered in basic operations.


During my second year in high school, she went abroad for a scholarship grant. She stayed there for two years, and only came back during sem breaks. When she came back, she decided to quit her job here in the Philippines and go back abroad to work, where the big bucks are. After three years, she came back for good.


When she came back, it felt a little weird talking to her. It seemed like we don't know each other. At times she treated me like I was the same little girl she left when she went abroad. At times, I treated her like she wasn't my mom at all. For me, she was a stranger.


After sometime though, we started to warm up to each other. I know she acknowledges the fact that I'm already 20, and not 15. She lets me decide on my own, she talks to me about politics, grown-up topics and all. I also have my own share of adjustments. I talk to her about my plans, my partner. Just last night, I realized how time has changed our relationship.


Just last night I realized I should let go of all the anger, blame, and doubts I am feeling. It's time to move on, and create happy memories together. God, I'm praying for good health and a long life for my mother. I love you mama!