Saturday, June 2, 2007

on death

I received a message this afternoon from a friend of mine whom I haven't talked to for quite a long time now.


Her father passed away this morning.


It was frustrating to not know what to say nor what to do to keep her spirits up because if I was in her shoes, I know no words could take the pain of loss away.


I fear death. I fear pain. I fear sadness. Whenever I pray, I always ask God not to take away the people I love most. People would always say God is the one person we can run to when no one else is around, God will listen to you and He will do everything that's best for you and all that. Sometimes though, God allows horrible things to happen even if we prayed all day and all night for such things not to come our way. That is why I am afraid.


I can't imagine how my life would be like if I lost someone. I can't say if I would be able to handle it. I don't know if I would be able to move on. I'm not sure if I can hold on and be strong, as what I have told my friend this afternoon. Sad. Really sad. I just hope God gives us answers, God gives us explanations as to why He would allow terrible things to happen. I hope God gives us the strength to move on.


I don't know what's going to happen after a minute, an hour... tomorrow, and the next day. I guess I have to keep reminding myself every morning when I wake up to spend each day as if it was my last.